Gay Spirituality

A friend recently posted on his Live Journal about how Christian groups do social service charitable work but that really what do Pagans do? He talked about getting involved by picking up trash in parks and volunteering with charitable organizations. I think it all boils down to walking your talk and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how we do that. I’ve seen several examples lately of people either walking their talk or not walking their talk and each one really showed me a valuable lesson. I’d like to share them.

I had a meeting last week with an older woman that helps run a community organization. This organization in particular works with artists but they talk a lot about how they’re part of the bigger community and they want to make changes in it. We went to a Wendy’s in the neighborhood to have a coke and talk (I’m going to do some web development for them). There was a young man that came into the Wendy’s and was looking for a job. He came back to our table asking if we knew were the applications were. We said we didn’t and that we didn’t work for Wendy’s (maybe we looking like managers?). It was obvious that something wasn’t quite right with this young man. We were joined by another person from the community organization and while he and I were talking the lady went to the restroom. On her way back in, she was stopped by this young man again who had been directed to a computer application and was having problems with it. She sat down with him and helped him complete his job application. It impressed me greatly how much she was walking her talk about trying to make a difference in the bigger community. Turns out that he was homeless but living in one of the Faith Mission shelters in the area and was trying to find a job and get on his feet.

I work as a web architect for a real estate development company. They primarily work with government sponsored urban redevelopment, faith based community development and non-profit urban redevelopment. The owner of the company is a devout black Christian man. Our company has both sexual orientation and gender identity in our equal employment opportunity statement. And many of my co-workers are people that would never have been given a chance in an office environment. Our receptionist is the most delightful, friendly and professional woman. She had been working at a factory job and struggling and the owner of our company offered her a job. With a little help, she has risen to be an outstanding professional. I believe that he walks his talk.

On the flip side, there is currently some controversy surrounding a pagan tradition. They talk about serving the old Gods and the Gods being preserved by their order and the order being preserved by their Gods. But this same group has been involved in cultish behaviour, petty jockeying for position, slander and all many of ugliness against their own brothers. And for what? Perceived importance or position? These people do not walk their talk.

I also know many pagans that will tell me that what you put out is what you get back. They will tell you magick is real and that our thoughts can affect what happens in our lives. But then these same people will be constantly negative, tearing down any idea that challenges their comfort zone, refusing to try anything different and taking delight in the misfortune of others. For a long time, I was one of them. But I realized that it was not walking my talk and I have decided to have a positive outlook on life and about other people. Even when they prove me wrong. That’s not to say that I’ve become a doormat either. But sometimes, the best course of action is to withdraw your energy from a situation or person rather than sending negative energy at it (or them) just to have it come back to you.

And we’ve all had the experience of friends that claim to be there for you but that you never hear from unless you make all the effort. Everyone has experienced one sided friendships.

And lest it seem like I’m picking on pagans. I can give another example of someone not walking their talk from the leather community. In my state there is a former titleholder that talks about the importance of service, humility, honour and integrity. Yet when this person did not wing the Great Lakes region title, they lied about living in Florida to compete there and while this person holds office in several Ohio organizations, lives in Cincinnati and received an Ohio community service award–they hold a Florida title. Where’s walking the talk about integrity and honor.

I’ve always believed that the only thing we really have control over in our world is ourselves. Ceremonial magick is a path of self-mastery. I’m not pointing fingers at anyone but simply sharing where my own head is these days. For me and mine, I want to walk my talk. It’s not an easy thing to do. It takes a lot of hard work. And I’ll fail at times. I know this. But its important that when I do, I realize the failure and take steps to make it right.

Samhain for me, is a time of deep reflection. Some traditions see it as the New Year. It’s a time when we honour what came before but I see it also as a time to look to the future.

See, sometimes, death is hard for us. We want to hold on. We want to keep things with us that we remember as being good or beautiful. You’d think that a priest of the Queen of Death would recognize when something’s dead. You’d be wrong. Sometimes I hold onto the past and to things that no longer serve me because I just don’t see that they’ve died.

For me, this Samhain is a lot about looking around and recognizing what’s died, honouring it for what it was, grieving the loss of it and moving on with living life. It’s not an easy thing but I do believe its a necessary thing. I think some big changes will be coming in the new year. I think some people will be surprised by them. But I know that where I’ve strayed from my path, I will make a course correction and once my feet are firmly on the road, I won’t look back.

Blessings to all this Samhain and may you honour what has been, grieve what is lost and rejoice at what is to come.