Gay Spirituality

Sorry about the dramatic headline, but now that I have your attention, I do want to talk about a very real conflict that’s happening in our country.  This conflict threatens our civil rights, our way of life and it threatens the evolution of the human race as a species.  It’s the conflict between religion and spirituality.

Last night, I saw the movie Milk with a group of friends.  We were all quite touched and moved by the film.  For those of you not familiar, Milk tells the story of gay rights activist Harvey Milk who became the first openly gay elected official when we won the race for Board of Supervisors in San Francisco.  An important part of the backdrop of Harvey Milk’s story though is the initiatives begun by Anita Bryant to repeal laws that protected gays from discrimination in jobs and in housing.  Harvey Milk fought Proposition 6 in California which would have allowed a teacher to be fired for being gay or for supporting gay people.  He felt it was important that they win the fight against Prop 6 to give gay men and women in other parts of the country hope.

This is where it really struck me in terms of the war we fight now.  We’re still being vilified and lied about by the religious right, a group of people who claim to be full of God’s love (they’re certainly full of something!).  As we fight the “war against terror” against Islamic Fundamentalists in other parts of the world, Christian Fundamentalists have been terrorizing us here.  But I think the issue goes deeper.  It’s about the difference between religion and spirituality.  I’d like to take a moment to describe the differences as I see them.

Religion relies on dictating a series of rules regarding what one should do or do not.  There is no focus on developing ones own moral compass but rather an emphasis on following the dictates of those “in charge”.  Religion claims to understand God’s love, while not really having a real experience or expression of it.  It’s dead, rote obedience to an established order.

Spirituality, on the other hand, is a living thing.  It comes from an overflow of love and joy that wells up from within and expresses itself in small ways–a touch, a laugh, a common bond.  The morality of spirituality is more personalized.  We do what is right based on a mutual respect for one another and a recognition that we are all one and all part of this beautiful creation.  As such, we develop our own moral compass that leads us based on our own very real experience of the divine.

I believe that religion at one time was necessary.  As man developed civilization we needed rules to live by and guidelines for what is right.  But as our consciousness has evolved, we’ve come to a deeper understanding of divinity, our moral compass has developed and we no longer need religion to lead us about by the nose.  Religion is for the small minded.  Spirituality is for those of us that experience the divine daily and are growing into something new and beautiful day by day.  We as a people need to embrace our spirituality and say “no” to religion.  We must fight it with every fiber of our being.  If we lose this war, we will become slaves to dogma and human evolution will re-enter a dark age once more.

How do we fight religion?  I believe there are a couple key things that we must do.  First, we need to lead genuine, open lives filled with love and joy.  We need to set aside our differences within our communities and build bonds with one another.  Secondly, we need to shine a light on the lies and twisted truths that religion needs to be successful.  We need to come out and take a stand and speak our truths.   We need to show the world that these people are not filled with love.

Anyone who’s worked ritual in a neo-pagan context (especially Wicca) is familiar with the concept of banishing at the end of ritual.  We all have different names for it–”closing the circle”, “the license to depart”, etc.  No matter what we call it though, the standard formula is pretty similar.  Typically, the banishing pentagrams are drawn at the four quarters and some type of license to depart is spoken.  But why do we do that and even more importantly, should we?

Modern Wicca’s ritual format is largely derived from the rituals of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn.  In the Golden Dawn system, the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram is used extensively particularly after operations involving magickal evocation.  Wicca has long made a distinction between “invocation” and “evocation” so I wonder a bit why we still need to banish.

Additionally, most neo-pagan philosophy holds that the four elements make up the basis of our entire world.  Joined with a fifth element of spirit in a balanced fashion, they are the divine substance of the cosmos.  Wouldn’t it reason then that they’re part of us?  Why would we need to banish something that is inherent in our own nature?  It seems counter-intuitive.

“Well, hang on”, you might say, “What about dark or evil energies that need to be banished?”  This, in my opinion, is a hold back to what we commonly refer to as “white ligher” or “fluffy bunny paganism”.  After all, we recognize that the Goddess is both a creator and a destroyer and we claim that evil doesn’t really exist outside of her.  There’s light and dark but they’re not really good or evil.  So again, why banish the darkness if it’s just another aspect of Goddess and of ourselves?

Isn’t this, in some ways, what the straight world has tried to do with the GLBT community?  We represent impulses that they recognize within themselves so they try to banish us by outlawing us, by stripping us of our equality or claiming that its some kind of evil or sinful choice.  In many ways, GLBT people represent the shadow side of our straight brothers and sisters.  We refuse to be banished.  Should we not at the same time, recognize our own shadow–our destructive urges, our dark desires?

Incidentally, I do think that this is one area where the GLBT community is more in step with the nature of the universe.  In many ways, we recognize our darker sides and express them–through BDSM, leather, the stereotype of the bitchy queen.  I think perhaps in making our spirituality our own, it might be time to release this idea of banishing the “dark” or the “elements” and embrace these energies as our own.  Perhaps in developing a genuine gay spirituality we need to rethink how we do ritual and what energies are really there and what purpose they serve.  I think its time for gay pagans to devise a new ritual format that is more instep with our consciousness.

Our grove is celebrating Imbolg this Saturday.   One tradition we have is that we take turns facilitating the ritual for each sabbat.  It’s my turn to facilitate this one.  I’ve been working on developing my ritual for the sabbat and I have to admit, I was a bit stumped at first.

I started to think about what Imbolg typically represents.  Usually celebrated on February 2, Imbolg was a time in which new beginnings were celebrated.  Some believe that the word Imbolg comes from a Celtic word meaning “ewe’s milk”.  During this time, the ewes would be lactating in preparation to give birth in the early spring.  It was also celebrated as Brigid’s Day.  As such it became a “fire festival” in which the fires of the hearth were celebrated.  This has also traditionally been a time to divine the weather which is where the tradition of Ground Hog’s Day comes from.

Our guest speaker for this year’s Between the Worlds is Rich Wandell.  We selected Rich due to his involvement in activism in New York City and to coincide with the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.  This has been a trying year for the GLBT community.  We’ve made some steps forward towards equality and had some big setbacks like the approval of Proposition 8 in California.  We decided that we really needed to renew an interest in activism among our community and that we needed to bring up some of the spiritual aspects of activism–of working together from the heart.

As I was thinking about this, I came up with my idea for Imbolg.  In many ways, GLBT people have suffered a long winter.  It’s time to divine the weather and see when this winter will come to an end, when we’ll enjoy the equality we deserve.  But more than passively looking towards the end of the discrimination and inequality, we need to encourage the sun to gather its strength.  We need to rekindle the hearth fires of community and the spirit of activism.  This Imbolg, our grove is going to symbolically “light a fire under our asses”.

I’m still fine tuning the ritual and I’ll post the outline and text of it after Imbolg, but I’m thinking that we’ll light candles and name those causes that we still need to fight for: a cure for AIDS, non-discrimination in employment, marriage equality, the ability to adopt, etc.  As we light candles and name these things we’ll visualize the fire of the spirit of activism catching in our community and bringing strength and passion into our community.  We’ll visualize our community working together.  Then we’ll go around the circle and each person will name one thing that they’ll do before the next sabbat to make this happen.

Imbolg is the perfect time to recommit as a community to working together for equality.  The traditional associations of this time of year fit perfectly with the idea of rekindling our activist spirits.  Won’t you join us and light a fire of activism in your community?

For this week’s “Other Voices”, I interviewed grovemate and friend, Jeremy–also known as “Daystar”.  Jeremy is a gay male and identifies as an eclectic Wiccan but claims that he hasn’t owned the word “witch” quite yet.  He’s a member of the Green Faerie Grove of Columbus, Ohio (of which yours truly is also a member).  He’s also the High Priest of Jaguar Moon, one of the oldest cyber covens on the Internet.  He’s been the workshift coordinator at Between the Worlds for several years.  We talked a bit about how being gay has affected his spiritual outlook (and vice versa) and about being in a cyber coven.

Julian: How long have you been involved in your path?  What leadership positions do you hold?
Jeremy: I’ve been practicing for almost 16 years, and am currently the High Priest of JaguarMoon CyberCoven. I’m also a member of Green Faerie Grove out of Columbus, Ohio.

Julian: So this isn’t the path you were raised in?  Why did you change and how did your sexuality affect your choice?
Jeremy: Oh, Lord and Lady, no.  I was raised Lutheran and then borderline Fundamentalist/Evangelical.  When I was in college, I also looked into converting to Mormonism.  I started practicing Wicca before I came out;the two were somewhat related, but not strongly.  Wicca helped me discover more of who I am and how my sexuality works as part of me and part of the world around me.

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Some of you may not know Jeff Altergott or his music.  Jeff’s a singer/songerwriter from the Chicago area and has been the musical guest at Between the Worlds on a couple of occasions.  His song, Brothers Beautiful, was inspired by his experience at Between the Worlds and is one of my favorite songs for a number of reasons.

Primarily, I like this song because it reminds me of the brotherhood that exists in my spiritual community.  We don’t always agree or get along but we’re still connected.  I’ve been reading a lot about the interconnectedness of all of us lately and that seems to be a theme that keeps coming back.  I think Jeff’s song in many ways captures that idea or feeling, at least it does for me.

Saturday night, my partner and I hosted a get-together of friends.  A large group of us got together and had dinner, went to see a movie and then came back to our home for dessert.   It was a beautiful night and reinforced this idea of brotherhood for me.  What was especially significant is that some of the people that attended didn’t know each other well.   And some of them have had some differences in the past.  But for one delightful evening, it seemed that everyone forgot about their differences, their disagreements and their baggage and just spent time being together.  To me that is in many ways the real essence of gay spirituality.  Just being together regardless of our differences or similarilities.

So far, I’ve been having a pleasant Saturday morning.  I slept in, which is something I always appreciate because I tend to be working on so many projects, I never get enough sleep.  After checking email and puttering for a bit, my partner and I took the dog for a walk at Easton Town Center and bought Starbucks.  I’m sitting here now starting to work on projects and noticed the quote on my Starbucks cup:

The way we get to live forever is through memories stored in the hearts and souls of those whose lives we touch.  That’s our soul print.  It’s our comfort, our emotional nourishment at the end of the day and the end of a life.  How wonderful that they are called up at will and savored randomly.  It seems to me we should spend our lives in a conscious state of creating these meaningful moments that live on.  Memories matter.  –Leeza Gibbons Television and radio personality

I found this to be a beautiful thought and an inspirational goal.  I’ve talked before on this blog about my concept of the Queer Spirit and remembering those that have passed on.  I think this quote really catches a lot of the essence of what I’ve been saying.  It also strikes me that some people do naturally live their lives in a way that they are consciously creating meaningful moments that will outlive them.  Several years ago, the Between the Worlds community lost a member, Crystal Bear.  I presided over one of several remembrances for him in our spiritual community.  It also struck me how deeply his loss was felt because of the beautiful memories of him that people held in their hearts.  He’s still remembered today and its not unusual for people to mention him at Between the Worlds.

The last two sentences of this quote really captured me.  It’s important to live in a conscious state of creating meaningful memories.  That’s how we live on.  It’s the energy we give to the Queer Spirit and its what prompts others to remember us.  It struck me that each person that has been a positive force in our community has on some level consciously created these meaningful memories.  It’s a goal I will strive for and I hope that you’ll make it part of your spiritual practice.  Start today, set time aside to be with a friend, a loved one or members of your community and spend time making a beautiful memory.  Someday it will be your memorial.

Today the founder of Project Inform, Martin Delaney, passed beyond the veil.  I honor and remember him as he joins the ancestors and becomes a part of the energy that I call the “Queer Spirit”.  The “Queer Spirit” is an idea I’ve been working with since joining Green Faerie Grove and as a co-facilitator at Between the Worlds.  It’s the idea that while we don’t have physical children,  GLBT people have spiritual children and likewise we have our spiritual ancestors.  The Queer Spirit is the group of our queer spiritual ancestors–all those queer people that came before us and inspire us.

Martin Delaney was 63 years old.  He founded Project Inform during the height of the AIDS crisis.  Martin worked closely with the FDA and as an activist, he is largely responsible for the accelerated approval process used to approve a number of life-saving HIV drugs.  He counseled numerous HIV positive people and worked to make sure that their needs were being met by the government, health workers and researchers.

During your daily meditation today, take a moment to light a candle and remember Martin Delaney.  He is truly and inspiration and I feel blessed to call him one of my queer ancestors.

I recently read a post on a blog about the difference between goal setting and manifesting .  In the post, the author talks about how goal setting involves making a list of the things we’d like, and then creating action steps over a period of time to accomplish them.  While goal setting will get you where you want to be, it takes time.  It creates energy and purpose but not on the same level as manifesting.  Manifesting on the other hand, has to do with using your thoughts and your words to create a new reality.  In many ways, manifesting is what we in the neo-pagan community refer to as “magick”.

The reason I bring this up is that in terms of gaining our civil rights, the GLBT community seems to be focused too strongly on goal setting.  This might explain some of the setbacks we’ve had recently such as California’s adoption of proposition 8.   We seem to be taking the tactic of making a list of goals such as the right to marry and then working in baby steps toward it, suing in court, waiting on appeals and supreme court decisions, etc.  While that will eventually get us where we want to be, I think as activists for gay rights we need to focus more on manifesting.

This, to me, is really where gay spirituality and activism meet.  There are a number of stories about British witches working magick against Hitler during WWII.  Perhaps this is what the gay spiritual community should be doing to gain our gay rights.  We should be manifesting them, not waiting for the establishment to deem us worthy of having them.

So how would this work?  If you work with a gay spiritual group, spend several minutes each time your group meets visualizing gay rights.  Visualize having the ability to marry.  Visualize having the ability to serve in the military as openly gay people.  A key part of manifesting is to visualize it as if it were already so.  Claim it!  Then use positive speech and words to help make it a reality.  Go ahead and call your “partner” your “husband” or “wife”.  Hold a marriage ceremony.   There’s a saying in magick, “As above, so below”.   Celebrate your spiritual marriage and the physical, legal aspect will follow.

But don’t stop there.  While I believe that manifesting and magick will do a lot, I also believe that the gods help those that help themselves.  March in protests, write your elected officials and refuse to be silent.  We can manifest our equal rights.

For this week’s “Other Voices”, I interviewed a good friend of mine, James.  James is a gay man living in a conservative part of the country.  He’s recently been making a bit of splash in his area by publishing a series of letters to the editor challenging Proposition 8 and the view that the Bible condemns homosexuality.  James has some interesting perspectives on gay spirituality.  He was raised Presbyterian, began studying other religions, eventually became a Pagan and has recently returned to the Presbyterian church.   However, he still identifies as Pagan and sees Jesus as an aspect of divinity, not the only one.

Julian: How do you feel that your gender identity and sexual orientation has affected your spirituality?
James: Well, after coming out, I left Christianity for friendlier pastures in paganism due to the ringing condemnation I was getting from people at Wright State University.  This is not to say all Christians I met were attacking me because of my homosexuality;  the problem was the ones who were had the loudest voices. And to be honest, realizing I could work with Greek archetypes  made me very happy, since the Greek pantheon doesn’t seem to have any major conflicts with gay folks in general.

Julian: What spiritual path do you currently follow?  Can you briefly describe some of the basic tenants and practices of your spiritual path?
James: While I’m getting back into Christianity again due to a complete lack of open covens that aren’t big on drug use in ceremony and a growing antipathy towards solitary practice, I generally look at Jesus as another aspect of a greater divinity.  The major difference is that unlike aspects of divinity in a polytheistic form, I don’t feel all that comfortable arguing with him during meditation.  My first coven practiced what we referred to as the Nike School of Magic.  You know, “Just Do It”.   The overall philosophy to which I still subscribe is one of “If it works, use it.”

I’m still much more comfortable with Greek and Egyptian aspects of divinity. In personal practice, I generally use a very basic spherical circle for ritual (4 elemental corners, material below and spirit above)  or stick on the techno for more…energetic…. ritual.  The basic tenant I try to keep in mind with any kind of working is essentially “Don’t wish bad things on others and don’t try to micromanage what you ask for.”

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I’ve often experienced people in the neo-pagan community that feel they’re doing service by making sacrifices to their gods and goddesses.  I do believe in sacrifice and service but I think the costs need to be weighed.  For example, I’ve met people that really can barely keep a roof over their heads because instead of working, they’ve decided to quit their jobs to be “of service to the gods”.  I’ve also seen neo-pagans buying expensive offerings for the gods when they’re living paycheck to paycheck.  While I think its commendable for anyone to take their priestly role that seriously, I question the wisdom of such rash moves.

I believe that we need to make sure our own basic needs are met before we can truly be of service to the gods.  By doing what we need to do, we can make sure our bodies are strong and nourished and we have the resources to successfully minister to our community.   I believe the gods accept whatever we offer them, if we offer it with the right intention.  Those of us that cannot afford lavish offerings for the gods can show their service by giving of themselves.  For example, volunteer to clean up a public park, plant a tree, keep a houseplant.  All of these things can be considered an act of service.  If done with the intention of offering the service to the gods, I believe they are accepted by the gods.   Let’s face it, sometimes the intent is to make a big show of the sacrifice or the offering.  I don’t believe that’s a pure intent and not one that the gods are likely to see as favorable.  It’s been my experience that the simpler and more heart felt the offering, the more the person making the offering gets out of it.

I guess really my point here is, take care of yourself first.  Make sure you have a roof over your head and food on table.  Then give of yourself to the gods through service to your community.  That way, the person making the offering benefits, the community benefits and the gods are remembered.  In my opinion, that’s the way it should be.