Gay Spirituality

For this week’s “Other Voices”, I interviewed a good friend of mine, James.  James is a gay man living in a conservative part of the country.  He’s recently been making a bit of splash in his area by publishing a series of letters to the editor challenging Proposition 8 and the view that the Bible condemns homosexuality.  James has some interesting perspectives on gay spirituality.  He was raised Presbyterian, began studying other religions, eventually became a Pagan and has recently returned to the Presbyterian church.   However, he still identifies as Pagan and sees Jesus as an aspect of divinity, not the only one.

Julian: How do you feel that your gender identity and sexual orientation has affected your spirituality?
James: Well, after coming out, I left Christianity for friendlier pastures in paganism due to the ringing condemnation I was getting from people at Wright State University.  This is not to say all Christians I met were attacking me because of my homosexuality;  the problem was the ones who were had the loudest voices. And to be honest, realizing I could work with Greek archetypes  made me very happy, since the Greek pantheon doesn’t seem to have any major conflicts with gay folks in general.

Julian: What spiritual path do you currently follow?  Can you briefly describe some of the basic tenants and practices of your spiritual path?
James: While I’m getting back into Christianity again due to a complete lack of open covens that aren’t big on drug use in ceremony and a growing antipathy towards solitary practice, I generally look at Jesus as another aspect of a greater divinity.  The major difference is that unlike aspects of divinity in a polytheistic form, I don’t feel all that comfortable arguing with him during meditation.  My first coven practiced what we referred to as the Nike School of Magic.  You know, “Just Do It”.   The overall philosophy to which I still subscribe is one of “If it works, use it.”

I’m still much more comfortable with Greek and Egyptian aspects of divinity. In personal practice, I generally use a very basic spherical circle for ritual (4 elemental corners, material below and spirit above)  or stick on the techno for more…energetic…. ritual.  The basic tenant I try to keep in mind with any kind of working is essentially “Don’t wish bad things on others and don’t try to micromanage what you ask for.”

Julian: Is that the same path you were raised in?  Why did you change and how did you select your current path?
James: I grew up Presbyterian.  Changing to generic paganism for lack of a better term was a chance to explore the myticism I loved as a child and a chance to work with a pantheon I loved reading about as a child.  Finding out that it was possible to put faith in Great Zeus and all his children and influence my life with magic of my own creation was quite liberating.

Julian: How long have you been following your current path?
James: Let’s see… I’m 33 now, and I officially declared myself a follower of the Greek pantheon at 18. although the mindset was switching prior to that, probably about 17, when I bought my Ryder-Waite tarot deck at Waldenbooks. That marked the beginning transition from theory to practice.

Julian: Do you practice your path differently from straight people who follow your path?  In what ways?
James: I’m personally of the opinion that each one of us has our own unique way of following our path, gay or straight.  While paths overlap, I don’t think anyone can say they followed the same path another person did to get to where they’re going.

Julian: What unique gifts do you feel GLBT people bring to their spiritual community?
James: Probably one of the greatest gifts we bring is the perspective of the outsider.  As a group, we generally are either outcast or marginalized by the rest of society, so in a spiritual group, we bring the perspective of those who see the world from a different point of view from what passes for normal and average.

Julian: Would you recommend your spiritual path to other GLBT people?  Why?
James: Going Greek?  Why yes. The Greek pantheon tends to embody more human characteristics than some of the other pantheons I’ve studied over the years.  Even Zeus had Ganymede.  It allowed me to have a meditative devil’s advocate when dealing with some of the thornier situations I ran across.

Julian: What should someone from the GLBT community considering your path know?
James: Ultimately, intent matters more than form.  Framework is mainly a focus for will.

Julian: How does your spiritual path view sex?  What are your thoughts on sex and spirituality?
James: Well, given the farcical nature of the sex lives of the gods, I’d rather say anything consensual that doesn’t break the rules of consent or hospitality is ok.  For me, sex is mostly about giving someone else what they want.  I joke around that my Scorpio nature removed most of the pickiness from my sex life, but really, sex and intimacy to me are ways of reaching a higher plane of thought and existence.  Almost a nihilistic plane, since I like to lose myself in the moment and forget who I am as a person during the act.

Julian: Correct me if I’m wrong, but haven’t you experimented with a number of different spiritual paths and just recently returned to the path you grew up with?  Can you talk a little bit about that and how that came about?  How do you feel that your gender and/or sexual orientation affected that process?
James: Actually, yes.  Having practiced Christianity, Paganism, and Judaism, I get some very odd non-doctrinal ideas when it comes to spirituality.  My return to the Presbyterian Church can be summed up this way.  I dislike working solitary, the major coven down here is more about cannabis than spirituality, the nearest synagogue/temple is about a 20 mile drive out of town.  So, basically, since I want to feel a part of a larger spiritual community, I’m in the process of returning to one that I sort of agree with.  I’ve never believed that Jesus is the only road to salvation, a view which was re-enforced when I started researching every other path I could get my hands on.  The more I studied, the more I found echoes and parallels in all of the world’s faiths.  While some would argue this means they’re all derivative, I prefer to think of it as a continuation.  The stories survive even if the faith that brought it forth didn’t.

My gender really hasn’t had much effect on my path, other than making me feel rather uncomfortable around lots of women.  My homosexuality, on the other hand… It’s made things rough.  In every faith community, I’ve run across people who for whatever reason, condemn me for that aspect of me.  Because I don’t procreate and therefore am left out of the “Great Rite”.  Or because of Paul’s admonitions, or because of one verse in Leviticus.  I think this is why so many of my gay friends became atheists at one point or another… It’s very hard to feel a part of a faith when all you hear is how horrible you are for being true to who you are.  I find myself wanting to show people that faith and spirituality should be expressions of love, not expressions of judgment based on one’s own self-righteousness.  I may not be a perfect being, but I do get mighty sick of having people tell me that my relationship with the divine is a false one.

Julian:  I also understand that you’ve been creating quite a stir in your local community through writing in your local paper on the topic of homosexuality, tolerance and god.  Could you tell us a bit about that?  What prompted you to do so?
James: I’m not sure there’s an easy answer for this.  I guess the best place to start would be to discuss the demographics of the area.  I live in southwest Missouri these days.  The city I live in is about 95% caucasian, 3% hispanic, and 2% other.  The Assemblies of God church is headquarted down here, and one of the national leaders of the KKK lives a county north of here.  None of this I knew when I moved here.  Around the time Barak Obama became the front runner in the Democratic race for president, the editorial page started filling up with letters that reflected these views of faith and race and sexuality that really started pissing me off.  People wrote in talking about how we all should buy prayer rugs if that evil Muslim guy won the race, others wrote in about Obama’s UCC minister and how he really wasn’t Christian… things like that.  And of course, Proposition 8 out in California started off a shit storm of controversy down here, since some of the locals seem convinced any recognition of the humanity of the GLB people is a step on the road to hell.

For most of my adult life, I’ve been much like Greta Garbo.  I wanted to be left alone. But the vitrol and hatred I was reading on a daily basis rekindled a spark in me I haven’t felt since my youth.   So many of the arguments wound up being between those with no faith verses those with what I consider to be a narrow faith or straight allies of the GLB community arguing with those who think us to be sub-human, I felt called to raise my voice to say what wasn’t being said.  That gay people are indeed human, welcome and accepted by whatever faith practice we feel moved to join, and we too are creations of the divine.  Growing up, I needed that message, and I never got it.  Now, as an adult, I feel it is my duty and responsibility to make sure that those who need most to hear it get a chance to hear it above the raging din that passes for discussion down here.  The letter I wrote about gay rights was inspired by an article about gay teens being bullied in High School, something I unfortunately can relate to.  Things have improved for the GLB community as a whole, but reading some of the stuff those teens are going through today reminded me of some of the shit I went through at that age.  And while telling gay youth “It gets better eventually” is all well and good, it doesn’t alleviate the suffering now, nor does it really offer that much comfort.

Julian: How does the rest of your spiritual community view your being gay?  Is it accepted?
James: Speaking from a pagan perspective, most pagans I’ve run across don’t get all that excited about who I go to bed with.  There are a few who frown on it, but one of the biggest appeals of paganism to me was the idea of being able to set up my own framework of belief based on the models I had studied.

Now, in the Presbyterian church, the argument rages on, although schisms like the Episcopal church are unlikely.  The church as a whole is actually quite wishy-washy on the issue, and the compromises made keep the peace while enraging both sides of the debate.  It’s quite fun to watch.  Then again, one of my old teachers once told me that the whole reason he joined the Presbyterian Church was that it was the only place in town that encouraged discussion and argument about matters of faith, allowing all viewpoints a chance to be heard.

Julian: Do you have any other insights on gay spirituality that you’d like to share?
James: For me, I guess the very best thing I can say is that it’s not so much what you believe as much as that you do believe in something, even if what you only believe in is yourself.  Being gay is rough on occasion, but I have to believe that us gay folk are just as much a part of the divine as so called “normal” people.  Who we love and the way we love is just as much of an expression of divine love as straight people’s love.  Maybe more so, because we had to fight for the recognition of our right to express it..

Julian: Thanks for talking with me.  How can readers reach you if they’d like more information?  Do you have an email address or web site you’d like to share?
James: gangrel_pri@yahoo.com or gangrel-pri.livejournal.com

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